Things of this World
Weird Words
Looney Laws
Celebrity Names
My Silly Questions
These are a few questions that I've either heard, or I have just wondered in some of my many hours of being grounded.
  • Why don't sheep shrink in the rain?
  • Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
  • Why do we play in recitals and recite in plays?
  • If nothing sticks to teflon, how do they get it to stick to the pan?
  • Why is it when we are looking for an address, we turn down the volume on the radio?
  • Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?
  • Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?
  • Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?
  • Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
  • How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?
  • If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?
  • If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
  • If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?
  • You know how most packages say "Open here". What is the protocol if the package says, "Open somewhere else"?
  • Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?
  • Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
  • Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?
  • You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?
  • If you throw your pet cat out your car window would that be called CAT LITTER?
  • If you choke a Smurf, What color would it turn?
  • Corn oil is made from corn, olive oil comes from olives, so what is Baby Oil made of?
  • Why is there never an answer to the most important questions in life?
  • Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
  • Can fat people go skinny-dipping?
  • Can you be a closet claustrophobic?
  • Why is the word abbreviation so long?
  • Is it possible to be totally partial?
  • What's another word for thesaurus?
  • If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?
  • If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their lights off?
  • When companies ship styrofoam, what do they pack it in?
  • If you're cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?
  • If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?
  • If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
  • If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
  • Should vegetarians eat animal crackers?
  • Do cemetery workers prefer the graveyard shift?
  • What do you do when you see an endangered animal that eats only endangered plants?
  • Do hungry crows have ravenous appetites?
  • Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
  • What is the speed of dark?
  • If women wear a pair of pants, a pair of glasses, and a pair of earrings, why don't they wear a pair of bras?
  • How come you never hear about gruntled employees?
  • What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?
  • After eating, do amphibians have to wait one hour before getting out of the water?
  • If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi?
  • When sign makers go on strike, what is written on their picket signs?
  • Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?
  • Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
  • Why are builders afraid to have a 13th floor but book publishers aren't afraid to have a Chapter 11?
  • How can there be self-help groups?
  • Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?
  • Where are Preparations A through G?
  • If knees were backwards, what would chairs look like?
  • When you open a new bag of cotton balls, are you supposed to throw the top one away?
  • When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does he wonder why you're just sitting there, staring at carpeting?
  • What happened to the first 6 "ups"?
  • If an orange is orange, why isn't a lime called a green or a lemon called a yellow?
  • Why does your nose run, and your feet smell?
  • My school colors were "clear".
  • I stayed in a really old hotel last night. They sent me a wake-up letter.
  • Hermits have no peer pressure.
  • Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories...
  • There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot....
  • How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn't live there?
  • Did Washington just flash a quarter for his ID?
  • I live on a one-way dead-end street.
  • It doesn't matter what temperature a room is, it's always room temperature.
  • I played a blank tape on full volume. The mime who lives next door complained.
  • Why in a country of free speech, are there phone bills?
  • How come SUPERMAN could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him?
  • If it was only a 3 hour cruise, why did MRS. HOWELL have so many clothes?
  • Why is it called a HAMBURGER, when it's made out of BEEF?
  • Why does SOUR CREAM have an Expiration date?
  • Do infants have as much fun in their infancy as adults do in adultery?
  • IF "Con" is the Opposite of "Pro"....then what is the opposite of PROGRESS?
  • Why is LEMON JUICE mostly artificial ingredients....but DISHWASHING LIQUID contains real lemons?
  • How much deeper would the ocean be, if SPONGES didn't grow in it?
  • Why buy a product that it takes 2000 flushes to get rid of?
  • Why do we wait until a PIG is dead, to "CURE" it?
  • Why do we wash BATH TOWELS; aren't we clean when we use them?
  • Why do we put SUITS in a Garment Bag, and put Garments in a Suitcase?
  • Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"?
  • Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have an "S" in it?
  • What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious?
  • If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
  • If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
  • Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice?"
  • Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
  • If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
  • Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?
  • What was the best thing before sliced bread?
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